Hakunaa-ma-taa-taa

Yes, I know. I haven’t posted anything in days!


Actually, I was busy. A lot busier than you can think of. My supplementary examinations were being conducted. And, I slept through the exams! Wow! Applaud please.


There were five examinations for me. [Yes, five! I left the papers blank for three of them and didn’t attend two.]


And this time, I didn’t write three and wrote the other two. Pass or fail? Don’t know! In the hands of teachers.


Actually I got confused with the exam schedule and missed one exam of the subject which I was very confident. The other two missed exams where the ones which I knew nothing about.


Now am back at home and today I woke up very early! 1.30PM!


Yeah, I know. I know! I admit it was a sarcastic joke. The problem is am not in a very good mood.


Reason? It happens that I can’t get past the challenge no: 39 in NFS MW challenge series! And the odd thing is I have actually completed three or four profiles earlier and there was no difficulty for me but now!


Cant think man. Cant think. It seems my mind is in slow-mo. I think it would be better to wrap it for now. Take care.

Habit wearing the clock of guilt?... Time to 'prioritize'!

What is it that makes you happy?


Yes, I AM asking that question. The question that many people ask themselves. Many a number of teachers, psychiatrists, career advisers, bosses, your parents and friends, even the waiter in a cafeteria could have asked you that question. Not once or twice, but many times. But, the point is have you ever found a satisfactory answer? Satisfactory, in the sense, to you?


Normally, what we describe in response when such a question is asked would be about those things, the things which you think are entertaining you. Those things or activities which you found keep you interested may be for a day, or some days. Or in some particular cases that craze may go on for a month or some months, or even years.


These senses of ‘interested in’ activities wear off in time. And normally we tend to move on. [Yes, we move on. From place to place, from people to people, and some are very sad as they can’t apply this technique with their parents! :D ].


Sometimes it is very sad to bid farewell to some ‘thing’ that we have lately been doing, isn’t it? We hope it’s for the best and sometimes it works out well!


Here, let me share something with you people. It is a very holy, enlightening thought.


Here it comes: “If you feel like abandoning something, let it be a habit, a person, or even your life, just let it go. Abandon it. Because if you don’t let it go when you are feeling like ditching it there is a 50% chance for you to get those bumpy rides of thoughts in future which can freak you out and make your life miserable. The other 50%? Leave it. Because we can always have the pleasure of re-thinking if it doesn’t work out the other way!”


[Thoughts explained are the intellectual property belonging to me only. No copycats will be tolerated.


Just kidding. :)]


Also the stuff we do for our entertainment have their feet rooted in the experiences that we come across at that period of time. The period can be anything from a day to years. When such an ‘attention grabber’ comes we let loose the ends which could really make us happy.


For instance, I had the habit of smoking. I used to smoke five to ten cigarettes a day. Then one day I found the love of my life and she doesn’t like me smoking cigarettes. I was told to quit smoking. Actually it was me who first proposed it and I was happy with it. Well, for some days.


Then came the urge. I can’t stand watching my friends or anyone smoking. If I happen to see someone smoking it would make me upset. But I felt happy because I am doing something which my love cares about.


Shortly after sometime the promise was forgotten. I took that liberty and started smoking. This time the numbers doubled. But not for long!


Sometime, after the promise was broken, when I was smoking I felt guilty. I couldn’t savor a whole cigarette! And after some days the guilt became so unbearable that I again quit smoking, but not completely. I smoke when I feel very much in favor of smoking. But the numbers have dwindled down to almost one in several days. The urge to smoke has taken a sharp drop in the graph and it took the guilt along with it!


We should be able to sacrifice something for a greater cause to become accessible. I am not saying my girl will leave me if I don’t quit smoking, but the idea is that it cause her great pain and I don’t want that.


I hope that someday soon I will be able to completely quit smoking. And it is HOPE that drives us! Amen.

Friends n Foes

I have a question to ask you guys. What can happen if you let one of your friends to intervene in your problems? Don’t get confused. The immediate answer is the problem can easily be solved. But hear about one of my friend’s incidents.


Let us call him ‘Anu’. He is friend of mine for the past 3 years. He was having some problems with his neighbor about their land. His neighbor had been trying to occupy a portion of his property. He used to resist this and one day he had a row with his neighbor. The neighbor is about 45 years old and my friend is 23. They engaged in a little fist fight and the neighbor got hurt, but just a little.


This neighbor is having two sons. Since they are almost of the same age as my friend they obviously got angry on him and decided to beat him up. Knowing about their intention, my friend went to another friend’s home and spent the night there. This other friend is of a cut and right type. Anu asked him for help. He wanted the other to go with him for a compromise talk. The other friend called some of his friends and they all went to Anu’s neighbor’s place.


They were welcomed and made to sit as some of them were mutual friends with Anu and his neighbor. They talked for some time. The compromise convoy asked the neighbor to go easy on Anu. They told him as Anu is a small boy and a very good lad he should be spared of the revenge being planned by the rival boys.


Since it was them who went for the compromise they had to keep silent for some time when the neighbor started talking. He spoke like he was the supreme power when it came to the issue. And after some time the main man in the compromise convoy lost his control and out of the temper he slapped the neighbor on both cheeks and asked him to keep mum. The neighbor was shocked and he agreed to their terms.


What a nice ending, isn’t it? But the story doesn’t end there. The very next day the police came to Anu’s home. A complaint was registered in the police station, with Anu as the prime suspect. The case? Well, it was given that they broke into the neighbor’s house and assaulted him and his family.


Now, this is ENDING!!!!

Death of a soul I have known

I have something to share with you. Not about what we were [well, I had been] talking about. Not the usual stuff.


It’s about the death of someone I knew for about 22 years. He saw me growing up.


‘Sanu’. It was his name. He ran a stationary store alongside a flour mill, near my home, with his brother. He was about my father’s age. I think he was my father’s classmate. And he died on 6th of June.


There is a gang, and I know all members in that, who are thick friends and they used to come together in the night, every day, and drink. I believe you understood what I meant when I said they drink. Yes, they are a bunch of alcoholics. They used to bid farewell by 9’o clock every night and go to home to sleep. Some of them are having sound monetary background and they pay for the booze. I know one man in that group who is married and is father to a cute, little girl and has no job to support his family. He has some things going on in this catering group from where he can hardly earn some money to get three meals in a day. But he used to get stoned every day. Thank his friends. And his family has no problem in getting their nutrition. His wife has a considerable job and his mother receives pension of his late father.
Mr. Sanu was a member of this gang. He used to put a lot of money to buy booze for himself and his friends. He never disappointed them. They used to have a lot of fun. He was unmarried and had no other concern other than for getting drunk. He was drunk the day he died.


He was returning home that day, and the time was past 9.30p.m. He told his friends that they would meet next day. He was riding his bike, a Hero Honda 100SS machine. He took the usual route and was sure about the road. He knew everything about that road, except that there is his angel of death waiting for him. There was a spot where there are no street lights. You may ask, what is there for a guy riding his motor bike to deal with street lights. Well, there is something.
This public transport bus was on its last trip from Vaikom to Cherthala, a place in Alappuzha district of Kerala state. The driver was feeling sleepy and the ticket collector was tired of the day’s work. There was no major traffic in the route at that time of day and so they sped to the destination.


Mr. Sanu and this bus reached the blind spot at the same time and most probably it was the last thing Mr. Sanu saw in his worldly living tenure. Am not exactly sure about what happened there. Probably the bus driver dozed off or Sanu lost control. Either way his bike slammed on to the center part of the bus and his coat got stuck on the bus. It dragged his almost 50 feet and then he was thrown aside. The bus driver did or didn’t notice the impact and drove off leaving Sanu to his fate. No one nearby noticed and because of the darkness nothing could be seen easily. He was lying there and about half an hour after a passerby noticed the bike lying there at the other side of the road. Then Sanu was taken to a hospital but of no use. He was already dead. No major wounds. Only some bruises when he was dragged by the bus. Probably he landed head first to the ground. Anyways, his soul left his body at that night.


My father called me up in the night. I was at my uncle’s where there was this ritual going on. I woke up and answered the phone call. My father told me about the incident. They were not sure about what vehicle hit him.
The next day his funeral was conducted. I couldn’t attend that. When his brother met my mom at the funeral he asked her where I was. She was told Sanu liked me very much. He was always sympathetic towards me when I was a kid, because my father used to beat me up on the simplest of things. He always said ‘there is no need to beat up this kid. He is going to become a good man one day!’ I felt sorry that I couldn’t go for the funeral.


The bus crew surrendered in the Vaikom Police station the next day. They said the hit someone on their last trip on 6th of June. They were not sure who was hit. I was thinking what if they checked at the time of incident. They could have saved a life. At least they could have taken his body to the hospital rather than leaving him on that street with no one to attend him.


He was a friend, to me and my family. He was a good human being except for his love to alcohol and arrogance to rivals. There weren’t many rivals to him as he was always caring and soft-spoken. He was little bit bulky and we used to make fun of him. When thinking of the fact that Mr. Sanu is no more, I feel sorry for me, his friends and family.


A good man has lived, laughed, made others laugh and died.


One little comment to make -
"You can drink. But never drink too much that you become addicted to it."

'Lazyism'

So… what do you think? So far what have you understood from my past posts? Kindly tell me.


Now, we will return to my accounts of ‘lazyism’! [Well, I coined this word. With all other ‘ism’s in this world I am giving you one more option. After all it won’t hurt to introduce something new, will it? And can boast about this!:)]
What would you call a man who sleeps on the couch when he has a cot 6ft long and a foam bed on it sleep on? Yes! Guess so! When am home I sleep on the couch simply because I can’t make my bed. And its lot easier to sleep in the common room where I can go to sleep while watching television and there is no need to clean up my bed! My mom wakes me up in the morning and asks me to go to my room and sleep. And then I find refuge in my brother’s room, in his bed who has already got woken up by mom and has cleaned his bed. How nice?! Isn’t it?


So you might ask me what I do when am at hostel. Yeah, there I would have to do it myself :(. (What? You asking me what that sudden current of air that smells roasted egg eaten yesterday was? Is it real bad? You must have smelled my sigh. Sorry, I haven’t brushed my teeth! I leave it for you to guess for how many days.:))
Oh boy! I feel pity for myself. Now am watching a Tamil movie in television, with my father and brother. All that dance, fight, politics, blah blah thing. Am stuck here, in front of this television. And sometimes he puts Animal Planet! Wow!..
Alright, we will come back to what we were talking. So is this laziness going to help me get somewhere, where I can say I have achieved something with this life? No, obviously not. Why is it so obvious? Because, otherwise it would be like sitting in a toilet with no toilet paper or water! I don’t want others to smell my poop! So I should do what we have to do what helps me to get there. God help me!....


Take care, folks. See you tomorrow.

I wanna prove my laziness!

So where were we? Oh yes, Talking about being lazy. Sorry, I just was lazy yesterday to explain the whole thing. And am not saying that I’ll be telling you everything today either. Well, to compromise with my laziness, I’ll tell you all those events one by one – day by day. Okay?!.. Oh, I believe there is no other option.
Here we will continue our discussion.


What do you thing is the least thing what certifies you to be lazy – or a quitter? For me one ultimate proof is to skip your examinations. Don’t you think that is? Yes, of course. I thought you will say that. Well, you will come to know why am stating this now when we continue our discussion.


Huh, am making a confession here dude. I did skip my examinations. Not once or twice and again not thrice but many times. While I say I skipped, I don’t mean that I didn’t write those. It’s just that, when am in for writing those and after writing two or three lines I get the laziness filled in my head flow throughout my body and I just won’t write anything more. Even if I know the answers I feel like there is no need to write them. Before every exam I am going to take, I tell myself to do well but end up getting out as early as possible. It’s definitely not fear of examinations. 


But what is it? I had been asking this question ever since I began skipping exams. How odd? Odd, because I haven’t any answer for that question. And now am sure to come up with an option for an answer! Yes, yes, it’s the block made of the thought of changing myself. And the time I realized the truth was/is too late. I skipped my end semester examinations and am waiting for the supplementary examinations. Even am sure about having to redo two courses. And I want to have a good life with all my skills. And as of now I expect this to be done without having to use them. I know how silly it may sound to you people. But think about that idea! How thinkable! Isn’t it?


Well, that is not the right thing. And am determined not to repeat that. The problem is – I have determined the same, many times before.


Is it fair? I have always had this feeling that I am going down the dirty road of living. Always felt guilty about that. And it was this thought of changing my habits which was in my mind at all times. And because of this thought dominating my mind I was never able to focus on anything. First of all I believe it was because of this thought that I began skipping exams.


‘How could that be?’, you might ask. Yeah, I owe you an explanation. When I was doing my degree in Computer Science, I seldom studied but managed to come up with decent scores. I am not a guy who can sit and study, even for at least one hour, which is decent but not enough. I wouldn’t even study the day before examinations! And one day I felt bad about that attitude of mine and decided to change that. Then this thought of changing was the only thing my mind and I couldn’t study or at least read my chapters, even if wanted to. The reason was that each and every time I try studying for the sake of it this thought arises which says ‘Hey, you can’t do this to yourself! You have decided to change and you are trying to study, but this is not the way to do that. You have to put more effort and work hard to change your attitude!’, and then the thought of studying diminishes and the thought of changing comes up glowing. I feed my conscience with the honey that oozes from that thought; not knowing what it does really is to weaken my conscience.


If you ask me, to state one of the several reasons that could have led me to be lazy and to skip my exams, I would say the ‘genes’ played the tough role of a thug. Well, my father skipped his board examinations when he was studying business management in an industrial training institution and ended up running his family business, later ran a bakery and after that is now running an event management group and along with that a medical shop of Ayurvedic medicines.


I don’t want to end up like him, stuck at my home town, but what I felt is I can’t do anything about that! It doesn't mean I don’t like what he does. I respect him because he provides up food and money and the care we need.


When this idea of changing me proved to be futile, I thought I can’t change and that pushed me down further making me even weaker than I could possibly have become before the thought of changing came into my mind. I forgot the fact that I am superior to what my thoughts are and that is what happens to most of us. Instead of making my mind understands what it has to do is to facilitate me to study well, I gave focus on changing myself! Doesn’t it sound ridiculous?


Yes, it is ridiculous. Just think, if you felt this, how stupid I felt about myself? Recently I came across a more feasible way to train my mind. A concept called ‘neuroplasticity’. No, no plastic surgery or such stuff. It is just re-training your brain.


Neuroplasticity says, thinking and engaging in activity can physically alter the brain. Ohho, I know that. Think about change and the brain is altered to think only about changing and only some other necessary things labeled ‘You know what’! And if you train your mind how to study it will get tuned to study. And folks, am going to try that now.


I will continue with this in the following days and friends please come every other day to check out my posts and do comment on them. Thank you. So long.

Inception

Hi there,

You may be intrigued about what am going to tell you guys about me, for the title says am lazy. Guys, may I ask what you people really mean when you say a person is lazy or a quitter?! Well you can add comments about that question after you have read this article.

I can guess something about those answers, like you might say that a real quitter is one who leaves the work he does through halfway. Yes, this is the sign of a quitter and that too of a bad kind. Those people who do such things are real losers and keep blaming their fate or Almighty GOD or others for their incompetence or their lack of enthusiasm. There are the ones who are lame and don’t care for what others say. There are people who are extremely gifted but can’t find excellence which is in them and keep luring at others who have proved their mettle. Also there are people who are devoted and keep on banging at doors where they think they can be helpful but actually their field might be a different one. Such guys [the last batch] get fed up of the work easier but, even then, continues to do their job sincerely until they are brain dead.

Again there is the most elite of them all. Who know their potential, know where they can be of most help, and also they are aware of the ways they can achieve their dreams and even then they tend to take the backseat, preferably a recliner, and they enjoy the show put up by others under a fan put in full speed which helps in getting a good sleep when they are bored. They get stamped as the real losers in the end. It’s not that they don’t want to do anything but simply they won’t. Won’t even lift a finger or won’t bother to raise an eyelid to show that they are awake. They listen to all the crap of this world – music, movies, polit(r)ics, spirituality and such stuff. Normally they get no regrets and have a lot of conscience. We call them the lazy.

When I speak of the lazy, it may seem to be a little peculiar to those people who know me and that too really well. Because I am stamped a real lazy guy. And I cannot say it isn’t obvious because I am lazy and I really want to change myself. Someone really knowledgeable has said that ‘When the thought of changing oneself gets really hard to resist and you can’t do anything about it means that your soul has become a pool of stagnant thoughts, the thought of changing being the block’. Well, you can argue and might even succeed in stating that the above statement is mine but that changes nothing, not a word in that.

Why I am so sure about the above statement is because I have done a lot of thinking on that idea. Yes, when the thought of changing yourself gets into your mind you feel that thought holding you back from the craziest of all things you do to make yourself happy. Being happy being the ultimate idea behind all the things we do in our life, this can cause you feel pain, and the worst of its kind, in exercising this idea and bringing it to life. Then why think about changing one’s self? Is it really needed? Does that really change the way we perceive the world and the ideologies behind the daily chores and junks we practice? Well, that still has to be answered and I am trying to give a brief description about what happened to me when I tried to change many things, which I thought bind me, made me lazy.

Before I give away my description about my experiences [and that too absolutely for FREE!..], let me tell you what I think is a remedy for that itch in the arse [oops!..] or a hammer to break the block which makes your mind a cesspool or stagnant body of unwanted thoughts, the thought of changing being the prime culprit. Just let you be yourself. Nobody can change you and you are best the way you are. But what you should do is to leave the recliner and go sit in the front seat, preferably the driver seat [If you are fond of driving vehicles, of course]. Take control of your life and don’t think about changing. The change will come naturally. Sitting in the backseat and expecting for change to come naturally won’t work. I would like to emphasize on what I said. Do the things you are expected to do and don’t think about changing.

Please give me appropriate feedback for my own good and for those guys who think they are lazy and have ultimate proofs to prove so.

Thank you dear for taking the time to read all of this.